Bad Baby Names!

Welcome to BAD BABY NAMES! All BAD BABY NAMES are actual, verified names from newspapers & online webnurseries from the US & Canada. So enjoy & be glad your parents didn't name you one of these doozies! Remember: all babies are beautiful gifts from God, all created equal...all baby names, however, are NOT.

Friday, June 24, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES FAN MAIL #1

"I work for a photographer who shoots a lot of graduations. Later, me and the other office girls have to go through the dozens of programs and figure out who's who. We come by a ton of funny names, which, we all say out loud and prompty giggle at. I really appreciate your site and am going to give the others the URL on Monday! You probably don't do the names of older people, but if you do there are two 18 year olds walking around named Lazarus Sears and Dakota Zipporah Derryberry. Lazarus is our all-time favorite. We half expected the middle name to be Macy's. Those are the only two I remember but some of them are really out there. Keep up the good work :)
Rachel"




Thanks to Rachel for those BAD NAMES, and for being the first FAN MAIL posted!

NEW! BAD BABY NAMES FAN MAIL

First of all...thanks to everyone for reading BAD BABY NAMES, and for sending your bad names in!

This blog is only for baby names of children born in the past year. This way, I can verify names and be sure I am not using any "urban legends." Also, I kind of use this blog as an example of current naming trends...so names of older kids or adults just don't belong.

HOWEVER....

I routinely get great emails from BAD BABY NAME fans, giving me names of co-workers, friends, family and people they've randomly met in their day-to-day lives. Some of these names are so hilarious, it just seems a shame not to use them.

So I've decided to introduce a new facet to BAD BABY NAMES: BAD BABY NAMES FAN MAIL.

FAN MAIL posts will be actual emails sent to me about this blog and giving me names of people born prior to 2005. Kids you went to school with, old boyfriends, your mom's mah johngg buddy...any BAD NAME will do!

A few guidelines:

1) DO NOT post your FAN MAIL names on the "comments." FAN MAIL names must be emailed to me at Pendragon525@aol.com.

2) Please put "fan mail" in the subject line, so I know it's not spam.

3) Please let me know in your email whether or not I have permission to publish the email on this blog. I will not publish without that permission.

4) Also, let me know how you would like me to "sign" your fan mail. Would you like me to use a screen name, a nickname, your real first name (I won't print last names), or a link to your own blog? I won't publish without this information.

5) I won't use last names on these posts, nor will I use names of high schools or places of business. I will, however, post the state you are/were in when you came across the BAD NAME if that information is in the email. I won't, however, post names of cities. I'll also post where and when you came across this name (if you chose to tell me); but once again, no specifics. This is for everyone's protection.

6) I'm only interested in names of people you have actually met, or names you have actually seen (for example, I know of one BAD BABY NAMES fan who often finds names on the sign-in sheet for her shop). No celebrity names, urban legends or "second-hand" information.

7) I reserve the right to edit the email for content and/or length. Once published, it becomes the property of the BAD BABY NAMES! blog and the blogholder.


So go ahead...send me your BAD BABY NAMES! Remember...I love all bad names, but I especially like those that fit into our official BAD BABY NAMES categories, such as REDNECK HALL OF SHAME, APOSTROPHE ABUSE and MOUTHFULL. I hope to post FAN MAIL every week or so.


Thanks...and enjoy!


---Zen Angel

Sunday, June 19, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES NEWS: How do you handle bad baby name advice?

All thanks to Pixie, who found this interesting article: How Should We Handle Bad Baby Name Advice?. I thought I would pass it along to all the BAD BABY NAMES fans! Thanks, Pixie!


I especially love the following BAD BABY NAME:


"Pick whatever you want. In my case, my kids wanted our lil girl to be named "Ava Grace" but I hated it because it was too plain. Now, it doesn't seem like another name could be better for our little girl: "Luvvleigh Va'Jeanna""
-- Emily

Thursday, June 16, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES 28: Into the Woods

BAD BABY NAMES 28


THE RUNNERS-UP:


Jaysanna Marie
Nothing like a good REDNECK HALL OF SHAME name to get BBN28 rolling!

Nylette
I can't tell if this is a baby name or a pair of knee-high panty hose.

Brenautica Richelle
Wow...a BAD BABY NAME double: a MOUTHFUL first name and a CRE8IVE SPELLING middle name! Take a bow...it's bad all the way around!

Jairid
Speaking of bad CRE8IVE SPELLINGS...

Titleist
Anyone remember that old Beavis & Butt-head episode where they steal Anderson's golf balls and sell them back to him? Beavis keeps reading the balls and saying, "TITleist!" Well, that's all I can think of when I see this name. I'm not sure if that reflects badly on the name, me or both...

Montzerrath
Martinique..that Montzerrath mystique!
(In my best Beach Boys voice)

Nattalii-Grace
All I can say here is...WHY? WHY? WHY?

Chanel
You just KNOW this kid has four older siblings...

L'Cole
Old King L'Cole was an unhappy old soul, an unhappy old soul was he. He called for an end to APOSTROPHE ABUSE....but was still stuck with L-C-O-L-E.

Lizfarianne
Holy MOUTHFUL NAMES, Batman!



SECOND RUNNER-UP:



Darling Leitasi
Not only is this middle name a MOUTHFUL nightmare...the first name is DARLING. And I thought Precious was bad...well, it IS bad. But Darling just might be worse!



FIRST RUNNER-UP:



Don'ta'ja
This, folks, is the APOSTROPHE ABUSE name to end all APOSTROPHE ABUSE names.



AND THE WINNER OF BAD BABY NAMES 28 IS...


PRINCESS MEADOW ROYALTY
Thanks to Zusia and her sister for this one!




Feel free to comment...

Sunday, June 05, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES 27: It's a La'Miracle!

BAD BABY NAMES 27


THE RUNNERS-UP:


Aquarina
This reminds me---I need to buy more bottled water.

Oxana
She might be a cute little baby right now..but someday, this is gonna be a full-grown woman who does NOT want the word "Ox" in her name. Especially if she's got PMS. Trust me on this one.

Zenniphyr
This is one bad, bad CRE8IVE SPELLING. It isn't clever, it isn't cute...it's vomit-inducing.

Gabriellaanne
What was the point of this???

Deayahjanique
What a MOUTHFUL name! Yikes.

Rhett
Frankly, it's a BAD BABY NAME...and I don't give a damn.

Brasilia
This trend towards naming kids after cities has really gotten out of hand...any city, anywhere is up for grabs. I have no doubt I'll soon be sharing with all of my BAD BABY NAMES fans children by the names of Walla Walla and Truth or Consequences. Any day now.

Ha-Ly
It took me a moment to realize that this is, in fact, a terrible CRE8IVE SPELLING of Halle. I can sum up my feelings for this in one word: blech.

Rockford
Oh, great. Now I'm going to have the theme song to "The Rockford Files" stuck in my head all day...

Jane't
Was this blatant APOSTROPHE ABUSE really necessary?

Anah'reya
As I said in BAD BABY NAMES 26: it's not a good idea to give a kid a name that rhymes with diarrhea. It's just asking for trouble.

Baylee-Ann
Here's another for the REDNECK HALL OF SHAME. I can actually picture this name under the title, "Dixieland Hayseed Parade Queen"!

LayLa
LayLa...this has got me on my knees, LayLa. I'm begging, darling, please, LayLa. Darling, won't you change this spelling now?

Jermichael
I blame Jermaine Jackson for this (his son is Jermajesty). Shame on you, Jermaine.

Fe
Fe, fi, fo, fum...I smell a bad baby name! And it stinks!

Odysseous Vidall
Dad loves Greek tragedies, mom loves Sassoon. What to do, what to do...

Law
I fought the Law...and this name lost.

Deliliah Ntxhi
Does anyone know how to pronounce that middle name? Leave a comment if you do...I am curious. Not very, but still.

Randa Lynn
Ah, a proud REDNECK HALL OF SHAME name! "Randa Lynn, you git yerself in this here house before you drown! Doncha know t'come in outter the rain?"
(Thanks to Zusia for this one!)



SECOND RUNNER-UP:


Jurney
The Jurney of a thousand bad baby names begins with a single CRE8IVE SPELLING...



FIRST RUNNER-UP:


Dragon
Huge monster, breathes fire, eats people...yeah, I can see why you'd want to name a baby after THAT.


AND THE WINNER OF BAD BABY NAMES 27 IS:


LA'MIRACLE CHASITIE
It's a La'miracle that I can even go on after seeing a name like this.



Feel free to comment...

Saturday, June 04, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES NEWS: Magician Penn's New "Hero"

NEW YORK (AP) -- Comedian/magician Penn Jillette's latest stunt did not involve his usual sidekick, Teller: He became the father of a baby girl.

Jillette, 50, and his wife Emily, 39, welcomed Moxie CrimeFighter Jillette on Friday, according to publicist Glenn Schwartz. It was the first child for the couple, who married last year.

"We chose her middle name because when she's pulled over for speeding she can say, `But officer, we're on the same side,'" Jillette explained. "`My middle name is CrimeFighter.'"

The typically mute Teller had no comment on the new arrival.


***I'd also like to take a moment to announce my new blog: Message Board Hell: Weird Posts From Cyberspace. If you like my sense of humor here...go check it out there!