Bad Baby Names!

Welcome to BAD BABY NAMES! All BAD BABY NAMES are actual, verified names from newspapers & online webnurseries from the US & Canada. So enjoy & be glad your parents didn't name you one of these doozies! Remember: all babies are beautiful gifts from God, all created equal...all baby names, however, are NOT.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Fan Mail #32

Dear Zen Angel:

I just LOVE your site. I read every update, and each time I read one I am torn between laughing, crying and throwing chairs throught windows at the idiocy of some parents. It's no darn wonder kids are supposed to be so screwed up, if they have parents who think some of those names are cute.

Here's a few names for you, culled from birth announcements and found on the Behind the Name bessage boards.

Jezebella Amor (My comment, when I saw that one, was "Does she work in one of those legal whorehouses in Nevada?")
Race Shane
Stone Eric

Heaven Dust: This one really made me mad. Sounds like the parents were on angel dust. Or else liked the band or the lawn product Sevendust.
Frankie Billy Bam-Bam: I wish I was making it all up but I'm not. Some poor kid actually got saddled with it. "All rise for Judge Frankie Billy Bam-Bam McAllister." Nope, I can't see it either.

ANd here's a few names I found in perusing true-crime and missing-persons websites. (I know it's morbid and heartless, but those places are GOLD MINES for bad names.)

Starvetta Monique
Misty Blu
My Little Darling
(a young woman with mental health issues who ran off. Gee, I wonder why?)
Love Life Georgia Belle: on a list of people who died at Jonestown. If she went by just Love, it's even worse because her surname was Lowe.
Chica and Little One: a pair of Branch Davidian twins. Very funny once you realize that Chica, in Spanish means, Little Girl. Little Girl and Little One. Some gender confusion there? Other BD people were named Hollywood, Startle and Serenity Sea, which sounds like a feminine hygiene product you can wear while swimming in the ocean.
Adymn: supposed to be Adam, I guess.
Khymbrly: Vanna, can I buy a vowel? Or two?
Malice: This guy was named Malice Green and became famous after he was beaten to death by two Detroit cops as he resisted arrest. He had a rap sheet a mile and a half long. How surprising, who would think a Malice would ever cause trouble?
Sweet Jessica
: So we'll be SURE to know how to say it? Like this: Jayk-ee-ob?
A judge named William Justice. Elevated to the high court so now he was Justice Justice. I am not making this up.
Sea-Nial. As in senile.
Destiny Dyamond Rose
: last name should have been Dombustion.

And read about a porn star whose stage name is Ava Vincent. Her birth name is Jewelliette. Looks to me like she had the right name at the start and didn't need to go changing it.
Oh and I grew up in Oklahoma and there knew people called Dantz Hall, Velvet Couch, and Waco Joe Diffendaffer. Also,a prominent Oklahoma attorney whose name is often in the news is Larry Derryberry.

You keep up the great work, we need sites like yours.

Sign me,
Starla Roxanne
(Yes, I know Starla is a redneck/stripper name, I've heard it all before. To make it worse, my mother chose Roxanne after the Police song. About the guy trying to persuade his prostitute girlfriend to become an honest woman with him.)

Dear Starla Roxanne,

What a treasure trove of bad names you've emailed me! Many thanks...and groans!

Thanks for reading!

---Zen Angel

Thursday, September 28, 2006

A Shout-Out for Bad Baby Names Blog!

In the August 21 entry of the Mazurland Blog, entitled "Rules For Naming Your Kid," the Blogmaster there gives a link and a shout-out for Bad Baby Names! Thank you, Mazurland Blog!

Second Child for Cubs Outfielder Jones

Chicago Cubs outfielder Jacque Jones is a proud papa once more. His wife, Krista, gave birth to the couple’s daughter, Jourdyn Nyla, on Sept. 21. Jacque has an eight-year-old son, Jacque Jr., from a previous relationship.

Source: Celebrity Baby Blog

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Nikka Costa Welcomes New Baby Girl

Singer Nikka Costa and her husband and songwriter partner of 14 years, Justin Stanley, recently welcomed a baby girl...who is reportedly named Sugar. We'll keep you updated!

UPDATE: The name has been confirmed! Sugar McQueen Stanley. Thanks to Celebrity Baby Blog!

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Fan Mail #31

Dear Zen Angel:

My fiance works with a woman whose grandaughter is named Felony. This baby's dad is always in trouble with the law. The grandmother has joked about the baby being named after her father.


Wow, that really is a bad one. I wonder what Felony's sister would be named, Miss Demeanor?

Thanks for reading!

---Zen Angel

Friday, September 22, 2006

Response to an Email

I received the following email (which was also posted here as a comment). Although I have sent the sender a personal email in response, I also felt that it should be addressed here, in this forum.

Here is the email:

I lost a baby at 2 days old in March of 2002, I named her Nevaeh Dawn, which to me is not heavens spelled backwards, but her name signified Heaven's Light...Nevaeh meaning Heaven and Dawn meaning Light...I was stunned that you had not put into perspective those of us who have lost children with these names, and while you may not like these names for whatever reason, it may be a little nicer if you would put a footnote or something with an apology for anyone who was may have one, I didnt look, but I just wanted to state my opinion about my own personal attachment to the name Nevaeh, and the beauty I find in it, and hope that you will understand that there are a few of us out there who actually take the time to name our children by circumstances in our lives....that name means something of greatness to daughter will forever be Heaven's Light in my eyes and in my heart!
Thank you for your time....
Angel Baby Nevaeh Dawn's Mommy - Trina
12:04 PM
I posted this on the site, but thought I would send it directly just to make sure you got it....with all respect this is just the opinion of a mommy that misses her baby:(


Trina: I am very sorry for your loss. I cannot even begin to imagine your pain.

Having said that, there are some points in your email I think should be addressed:

Yes, there is a disclaimer. A link to it can be found on the right-hand side of this page. It is called "Guide to Bad Baby Names."

In that disclaimer, I write:

"All babies are precious, beautiful and gifts from God. My entries here in no way reflect on the actual child themselves...only on the names. All babies are gorgeous, all deserving of love and all created equal...all baby names, however, are not. These names are bad by my opinion only---feel free to agree or disagree. Bad baby names are often in the eye of the beholder!"

I do appreciate that every name--good and bad--is chosen by the parents for a reason, and in most cases, a great deal of thought went into the choosing. Often, there are very personal reasons why a name has been chosen for a child. As I said above, bad names are in the eye of the beholder. All three of my children's names
(which I chose for good reasons, and find beautiful) can be found on other bad baby names websites, most notably Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing (link to the right).

To the best of my knowledge, that site does not have an apology footnote...and neither does mine. This site reflects only my own opinions, and I won't apologize for having them nor for expressing them.

The names I write about on this blog are not personal statements or attacks against any parent or any child. They are commentary on the names alone, and my own opinion of them. It is meant only for humor purposes, and for the purposes of showing current naming trends in North America. That is the spirit in which this site must be taken.

I do understand that many people have strong feelings connected with a name. I have them myself. It is not, nor ever was, my intention to disparage anyone's connection with any name...only to give my own opinion on the name itself.

And finally, to Trina: thank you for your email
(and for sending it, as you are right about my missing comments from time to time). I think the power of a connection between a person and a name cannot be denied, and I am glad you shared your connection with me. May God bless you and yours.

---Zen Angel

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Another Coldplay Baby!

It's another Coldplay birth! Guy Berryman, bassist for the band, and his wife Jo welcomed their first child, daughter, Nico, on 09/17.

Another Coldplay babies include Ava Champion (daughter of drummer Will), and Apple and Moses Martin (children of pianist/singer Chris and Gwyneth Paltrow).

Source: Celebrity Baby Blog Edited by request of Celebrity Baby Blog.

Article: Old Testament a Big Draw in Name Game

Old Testament a big draw in name game

Gwyneth Paltrow went back to the Old Testament when naming her newborn child Moses. Both big screen stars and B.C. parents are bequeathing the same legacy on their new babies, and it doesn't cost a cent: names that originated in the Old Testament.

While Mackenzie and Connor are all very well for some parents, the Hollywood A-list likes to go way back.

Shiloh Jolie-Pitt and Moses Paltrow-Martin are among the latest additions to the rolls of Scripture-based baby monikers that date back thousands of years.

In B.C., six of the top 10 names for boys in 2005 had Hebraic roots. It's a fact that Victoria Rabbi Meir Kaplan finds "fascinating,'' even if he's not convinced the parents had much awareness of their historic significance.

The Top 10 boys names in B.C. include Ethan at No. 1 (292) Joshua at No. 2 (265 plus 13 Joshes), Matthew No. 3 (241), Jacob at No. 4 (222 plus 56 Jakes and 33 Jakobs), Nathan at No. 5 (206 plus 15 Nates) and Noah at No. 10 (179).

Other popular boys' names of Hebrew origin are Daniel (174) Benjamin (172), Samuel (142), Zachary (116) and Adam (101). Calebs, Isaacs and Elijahs also abounded. Even Soloman got the nod in 13 families.

For B.C. girls, Old Testament names accounted for two in the Top 10 list collected by B.C. Vital Stats. Hannah placed fourth (189 plus 19 Hannas) and Sarah landed at No. 7 (160 plus 64 Saras).

Kaplan finds it "a very positive thing'' that parents popularize the names of heroes of Hebrew history dedicated to the welfare of their people, especially when compared to some of the heroes of today.

When a major movie star calls her child Moses, it could motivate others to look up to the original. "There are some people that everyone should look up to,'' Kaplan notes.

Judith Tropea, author of Classic Biblical Baby Names, says she thinks the trend toward Old Testament names shows that parents want names that are "meaningful, spiritual and have lasted through the course of time."

The New Jersey resident is expecting her third son and considering Noah as his name. Her first two sons are called Matthew and Daniel.

While modern parents can and do call their kids just about any name, it's not so simple for Jewish parents. They must consider more than just the sound of the name before bestowing it. "When they give the name to the child, it's like a spark of prophecy,'' Kaplan explains. "The Hebrew name of a child expresses the essence of the person.''

That's why if someone becomes very ill, parents might add a name or change the birth name. "All the life forces for a person go through his name, which is why a name in Jewish history and Jewish tradition is an extremely important thing.''

- - -


Judith Tropea, author of Classical Biblical Baby Names, offers some suggestions that go way beyond the obvious in scriptural appellations.

For girls:

- Damaris: a woman who listened to Paul as he preached about Jesus in Athens.

- Elisheba: wife of Moses' brother Aaron.

- Kezia: Job's second daughter.

- Tirzah: the youngest of five sisters who protested Moses' division of Canaan based on sons. God agreed with the girls.

- Zipporah: given to Moses as a wife.

For boys:

- Aeneas: a paralyzed man healed by Peter in the name of Jesus.

- Gaius: a popular name among Christians in Rome.

- Nicanor: an early disciple of the church in Jerusalem.

- Othniel: the first judge of Israel after Joshua's death.

- Zuriel: a Levite ruler during the exodus from Egypt.


Article: Top Baby Names of the Decade (So Far)

Top Baby Names of the Decade -- So Far!
By Deirdre Byrne

Top 5 Names of the Last 5 Years

As the first half of the 2000s comes to a close, has compiled the top baby name trends that'll carry us through the rest of the decade. So whether you're picking the perfect name for your baby -- or just having fun -- check out these baby-naming facts.

Most Popular Names

What do the names Michael, Matthew, Christopher, Jacob, and Joshua have in common? In the U.S., they are the top five boys' names of the last five years. So what have we learned? For top names, consistency is key and little variation has occurred. For girls, Ashley, Emily, Samantha, Hannah, and Elizabeth show staying power.

All this name information was obtained from the Social Security Administration; since 1879, they have been tracking card applications for births that occurred in the United States. The most recent data is from records on Social Security card applications as of the end of February 2005.

On the List, Off the List

We're sad to see them go, but these are the names that have slowly descended the popularity list: Robert, Kyle, Kevin, Courtney, Nicole, and Victoria. Look out for these current favorites to remain on the charts:



Names to Watch

So, which baby names have the best chance of cracking the top 10? We're predicting that based on their growth in popularity since 2000, these names will top the charts:

Ava: Has flown from the 39th position in 2003 to the 25th position in 2004. With such steady growth, the top 10 is not far from sight. Famous people with this name: Ava Gardner and Reese Witherspoon's daughter Ava Grace.

Grace: Has shown continual growth since its introduction in 2000 to the top 20 list. In 2004, Grace maintained the #13 slot. Famous people with this name: Grace Kelly and Grace Jones.

Nicholas: A former top 10 boy's name of choice for eight out of the last 10 years, Nicholas maintained the #13 spot in 2004. Because of its flip-flopping tendencies, it is a name to watch. Famous people with this name: Nicolas Cage and Nick Lachey.

Changing Spaces & A Matter of State


The following names have pulled a "switcheroo," changing places from the top 10 into the top 20, and sometimes back again. The trend indicates there may not be such a big difference between the top 10 names and the top 20 names. Nonetheless, it takes some fighting to stay in the top 10 when other names are vying for the spots. These names have been on the move in the last five years:

Anthony: Rose from the lower half of the top 20 to temporarily find a home at #10 in 2003, only to be dropped back to #11 in 2004.

Daniel: Dropped from #10 to #11 in 1996, but resurfaced in 1999 at #10.

William: Jumped into the top 10 in 2001, only to be dropped down to the #11 spot in 2002. William did, however, make a comeback in 2004 at #8.

Elizabeth: A usual favorite in the top 10, Elizabeth was booted in 2002 and landed in the #11 spot, only to push back into the top 10 in 2003 to secure the #9 spot.

Rachel: The ride into the top 10 in 1996 with a place at #9 was a short-lived victory, because in 1997, Rachel dropped to #13.

A Matter of State

Each state maintains its own personality and level of distinction from the other 49, but surprisingly, the list of 2004's top five baby names from each state showed little difference. The tried-and-true favorites win out, but unique names have been spotted in various regions across the country:


Jose -- #1 in Texas
Hunter -- #2 in Wyoming
Noah -- #2 in Hawaii
Angel -- #5 in Arizona
Isaiah -- #5 in New Mexico


Caroline -- #5 in District of Columbia
Chloe -- #5 in Hawaii

Celebrity Babies & Biblical Names

Star Babies

Where do the trendy baby names of the stars rank? Relative to the nation's top 10 baby names list, you may be surprised to see that what is popular among the rich and famous is not necessarily what is most popular among the masses in 2004. Why do stars go to so much trouble to find such original, creative names for their little ones? Well, once we hear these names, we rarely forget them -- and that may be just the point.


Jack -- #41; son of Val Kilmer
Sean -- #65; son of Britney Spears
Jaden -- #83; son of Will Smith


Ella -- #29; daughter of John Travolta
Lily -- #52; daughter of Johnny Depp
Lola -- #523; daughter of Kelly Ripa

O, Holy Name

Where did that name come from? That's a common question among expectant parents when thinking of the name that may define their child. If the most popular names of the past several decades are any indication, we've noticed that expectant parents seek name inspiration from the Bible. Perhaps the recent biblical preoccupation isn't so surprising, given the recent national obsessions with books like The Da Vinci Code and dialogues about intelligent design and "holiday trees." But truth be told, biblical names have never really gone out of style. These top 10 names exhibit the biblical name trend:


Christopher -- Greek for "Christ-bearer"
Jacob -- Hebrew for "supplanter"
Joshua -- Hebrew for "Jehovah saves"
Matthew -- Hebrew for "gift of the Lord"
Michael -- Hebrew for "who is like the Lord"


Elizabeth -- Hebrew for "oath of God"
Hannah -- Hebrew for "graceful"

At the End of the Decade...

Tried and True

These are the names you hear wherever you go -- in the store, at the park, at the doctor's office, and at family reunions. It is no coincidence that the majority of top five boys and girls names of the last five years are among America's favorites. These names have not budged from their top 10 thrones for over 20 years. Clearly, these names have stood the test of time and we predict that they will top the charts in 2010:





Source: (there are TONS more to read about baby names on this site--check it out!)

Britney's Son: Sutton Pierce Federline

New parents Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have named their new baby boy Sutton Pierce Federline, reportedly because the pop princess wants him to have the same initials as his brother Sean Preston.


Thursday, September 14, 2006

Article: What's in a (Celebrity) Baby Name?

What's in a (Celebrity) Baby Name?

While a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet, would an Apple, a Moses or a Shiloh?

And is there some gene or DNA mutation once your face lives on celluloid that says your child can't be a Jennifer or a Michael?

But perhaps if your kid's name will pepper the pages of People for as long as there is a Brangelina or a TomKat or the next such celeb couple combo, then it better be a catchy appellation.

Celebrities have been bestowing unusual names on their offspring as far back as the 1967 birth of Frank Zappa's daughter Moon Unit Zappa.

But what should you do when considering a name? Do you opt for a Glimmer or Davidina or Papaya?

Let's look at what the celebrity babies' names mean first.

Gwyneth Paltrow's name choices - Apple and Moses - have biblical connotations with Apple hearkening back to the Garden of Eden and perhaps the flight from it, as Paltrow herself has fled life in Hollywood, says Stacy DeBroff, a national parenting author and founder of

Then there's Geri Halliwell of former Spice Girls fame who chose Bluebell Madonna for her daughter, homage to flowers and the pop icon. Donald Trump opted for Barron and there's no secret as to what his expectations are for his new son. Penn Jilllette of Penn & Teller chose Zolten, a Hungarian name, for his new son, who may follow in his father's footsteps with a name like that.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes selected Suri for their girl and the duo claims it means "princess" in Hebrew, though scholars disagree, DeBroff says. "Courteney Cox and David Arquette evoked their traditional-meets-quirky dynamic with baby CoCo, a derivative of Courteney's name. And by naming her twins Phinnaeus and Hazel, Julia Roberts proclaimed that she is old-world and classic... maybe a little too classic," DeBroff says.

C'mon. Hazel?

Then there's the baby of the hour and the year. Shiloh.

The name that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie chose for their new daughter refers to both a sacred village in the Bible that was a meeting place and sanctuary and also to the Civil War Battle of Shiloh in 1862 that resulted in 10,000 casualties. So not all associations are good.

But what about normal people? Do we opt for funky names such as Jehosaphat, Tadpole or Katmandu? Celebrities can get away with it, but probably not every day Jills and Joes.

Names that are unique but not too over-the-top, says author Dianne Sttaford, are ones like Ryan or Gavin (both sexes), Mason, Shae, Gaynor, Ever, Dare, Chafin, Gallaine, Kane, Romano, Dorsey, Baird, Brennan, Tyce and Dane.

Stafford, who wrote "50,001 Best Baby Names" and "The Ultimate Baby Names Book," advises parents to think about whether the child will like the name in preschool, high school and the nursing home. "A girl named Meadow and a boy named Crow may not be comfortable lifelong with that name. And does a boy named Crash have a future in Donald Trump's boardroom?" she says.

Choosing a name is especially important as some research suggests that kids with odd names get more taunting from peers and are less well socialized, Stafford says. "On the other hand, uncommon names attract attention and can set people apart from others in a positive way."

She says to keep the following in mind when selecting names.

*How does it sound with your last name?
*Is it too cumbersome or pretentious?
*Keep your name ideas close to the vest.
*Choose one you like as a couple.
*Think twice when considering family names like Mortimer or Ethel.
*Avoid the confusion spawned by a namesake and give your baby his or her own name.
*Look at the initials the names will create.

According to the Social Security Administration, the most popular names for boys in 2005 were Jacob, Michael, Joshua, Matthew, Ethan, Andrew, Daniel, Anthony, Christopher and Joseph. For girls the names were Emily, Emma, Madison, Abigail, Olivia, Isabella, Hannah, Samantha, Ava and Ashley.

You can look up popular names at and the frequency of names at

Happy baby naming!


Wednesday, September 13, 2006

BAD BABY NAMES 38: Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice?



This is the first CRE8IVE SPELLING of Julia that I think I've ever seen. Could've done without it.

I don't know how many times I have to say this folks, though it should be fairly self-evident: when a name rhymes with "diarrhea," you're just asking for trouble.

Am I wrong, or wasn't this Joey's last name on Friends???

These parents definately were.

Add this to the ever-lengthening list of GLOBETROTTER names.

Someday, this kid will learn what a lame band Creed was...and have a lot of teen angst as a result.

No BBN list is complete without at least one MOUTHFUL name! Enjoy.

As in the baby horse, or the gun? Either way it's a big nay. Or neigh.

Why toffee and baby name books don't mix.

La Curtis Da Rikus
Try saying THAT one five times fast. I dare ya.


It sounds like a wonder drug for parents: "Baby has colic? Try new Silencia, and screamies go bye-bye in a flash!"


Let's just hope "Romance" isn't his middle name.



I don't know which was worse: finding out someone actually named their baby Cinnamon, or reading the comments and finding out that she's got a sister named Honnee.

Feel free to comment....

Article: Finding Exotic and Unique Baby Names

Unusual Baby Boy Names - Finding Exotic and Unique Baby Names

Unusual baby boy names and finding exotic and unique baby names can be loads of fun! Rather than giving your baby boy a name like Jacob, John or Harry -- you'd prefer him have one of the more exotic and unique baby names.

There are several ways to find unusual baby boy names. Here are some suggestions:

1. Start with the most popular names being given to baby boys. For parents living in the USA, you can easily find this kind of information by visiting the Social Security Administration's website (click on the link at the bottom of this page to go to the direct link to the SSA baby names search). See which names that are popular are also unusual baby boy names. You can view the most popular names for the past year, boy names given since the year 2000 or by decade in the previous century. It may surprise you how many exotic and unique baby names you can find this way.

2. Look at your own family names and see if using any name combinations create unusual baby names you like. Ask other family members for their suggestions, even invite your friends to give you their opinions. Does a relative have names you like? Do be careful if the names are already used. Ask other family members to be sure your favorite unusual baby names are not given to relatives. It can become confusing in families when two people have the same names.

3. Consider the unusual baby boy names used in the classics. Literary classics are a great source of exotic and unique baby names. Be careful when considering modern names used by this year's top male movie stars. Will that popular actor still be in the headlines 3, 5, 10 or more years from now? By using the classics for possible names, you know that these names have withstood the test of time.

4. Visit your local library or bookstore and browse the pregnancy and parenting sections. You will likely find several books in various price ranges that provide you with many unusual baby boy names to consider.

5. Search for exotic and unique baby names online. There are many baby websites with listings and resources for baby names.

Remember, your child's names will be used their entire life, so think how their names will sound and feel once they are grown. Don't let the joy of their infancy cause you to give them a name that they won't be proud of once they are older. Stay away from funny names. Choose his name carefully, a name that will have meaning and significance to you and your child.

Have fun and enjoy viewing and choosing your child's names. Provide them with unusual baby boy names that will add to their success and happiness in life. Take your time and find names you truly love. You will find at some point, there is no doubt about what your new baby boy names will be. When it happens -- congratulations! Enjoy and celebrate the moment. You'll know it was worth every minute spent looking for unusual baby boy names for that unique and very special person.

Copyright 2005 InfoSearch Publishing

Monday, September 11, 2006

Britney's Baby Name

"This week in asinine baby names: Britney is going to name her new daughter Jailynn, which is a composite of her parents's names Jamie and Lynn. I guess we just have to be thankful that their names aren't Troy and Ashley."

---Malene Arpe, The Toronto Star

BBN News: Picking a "P" Name

Top Odd Baby Names

according to

Odd baby boy names:


Odd baby girl names:


Source: Discovery Center.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

BBN News: Baby Names Get Bizarre

Baby names get bizarre

Let's pretend we're at Hollywood High, circa 2023 -- and pity the poor teacher who's taking attendance.

Apple? Banjo? Coco? Shiloh Nouvel? Suri? Pilot Inspektor? Kal-el? Moxie CrimeFighter?

Wait a minute. Is this a classroom or a superhero convention?

As you've no doubt noticed, for the rich and famous these days, naming babies has become an exercise in creativity. Or is it a competitive sport -- a great, big "Can you top this" contest?

Once upon a time, most stars gave their kids nice, down-to-earth names. Bing Crosby christened his children Gary, Phillip, Lindsay, Dennis, Harry, Nathaniel and Mary. Princess Grace (Kelly) had Albert, Caroline and Stephanie. Even eight-time bride Elizabeth Taylor, who had no problem flaunting convention, named her kids Michael, Christopher, Liza and Maria.

Nowadays, there's not a John or Mary in the (Malibu beach) house.

What's the harm, some ask? Even Shakespeare famously asked, "What's in a name?"

Others focus on the larger challenges a celebrity kid will face.

If, for example, millions of people saw your dad declare his love for your mom while jumping up and down on Oprah Winfrey's couch, it's a safe bet that the name on your birth certificate will not be your biggest problem in life.

In fact, little Suri Cruise -- infant daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes -- actually has one of the more normal-sounding of the celebrity-baby names.

Consider the other members of that aforementioned class: Moxie CrimeFighter (daughter of Penn Jillette); Apple Blythe Alison (daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay's Chris Martin); Banjo Taylor (Rachel Griffith's son), Coco (daughter of Courteney Cox and David Arquette); Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee's son), Shiloh Nouvel (daughter of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt), and most bizarre of all, Nicolas Cage's not-quite-1-year-old son, Kal-el.

Now, where have we heard that name before? Oh, that's right. Kal-el was the Kryptonian birth name of Superman.

Why do it?

Many ordinary mortals get incensed about such outlandish names. After the birth of little Kal-el Cage last October, fans posted their reactions on the Web site

"It shouldn't be allowed. Your children are not an extension of your own damaged personality!" wrote someone with a good-old-fashioned name -- James.

Another huffed: "Nic Cage needs to have his head examined."

Why do celebrities do it? Why make it even harder than it already is for their kids to feel normal?

"I don't think they're topping each other per se, but I think it's an exercise in creativity," says Danielle Friedland, publisher of the popular "Someone who grew up as a non-celebrity may not have loved their name. If your name is Rachel, you may want to give your kid a jazzier name. You think they're special, and you want the world to know that -- and that you're really special."

To be fair, it's not just celebs who do this to their kids. Actors Rainn Wilson ("The Office") and Poppy Montgomery ("Without a Trace") were born to non-celebrity parents.

"My mom, who's British, had this flower fairy book from the 1800s, and she loved it," explains Montgomery, who has four sisters that also have flower names. "I think she just sort of picked them out of that."

Hollywood creativity

Nor is the weird celebrity baby names trend brand new. Tatum O'Neal was born almost 43 years ago. Sonny and Cher's Chastity is now 37. Bruce Willis and Demi Moore's girls (Rumer, Scout, and Tallulah Belle) are now teenagers.

And rock stars have always gravitated to unusual names. Dweezil and Moon Unit Zappa are the poster children for the weird-name trend. There's also Zowie Bowie. And Peaches Honeyblossom, Pixie and Fifi Trixibelle Geldof, daughters of Bob Geldof and Paula Yates (who named the daughter she had with Michael Hutchence Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily).

When you live in such a surrealistic world, though, would you even have to worry about things like taunting schoolmates? That may depend on exactly where you live.

"In Hollywood, these kids are going to school with other celebrities' kids with unusual names, so, they may be in a classroom filled with Apples and Oranges," Friedland says. "Cupcake could be the girl sitting next to you -- or the boy. Even if they're not the children of celebrities, most of the people in Hollywood are kind of zany and creative people as well.

"[But] children of celebrities who do not live in Hollywood or New York are going to get more attention in a classroom full of Jennas and Jasons. Moxie CrimeFighter might get picked on, because she's going to school in Las Vegas."

David Narter, author of "The Worst Baby Name Book Ever," thinks their names are the least of their worries.

"It's not the names that are going to screw up these kids' lives. Their lives are screwed up already. They're celebrity kids," he says.

Citing, for example, Dandelion Richards, daughter of rocker Keith Richards and his longtime girlfriend Anita Pallenberg, Narter says her big issue "is that her dad has no teeth and looks like he's been dead since he was 25."

No argument on that. Then again, Dandelion does now call herself Angela.

And remember Free Carradine, the son of Barbara Hershey (who went by Barbara Seagull for a time) and David Carradine? He changed his name -- to Tom.

And then there's the advice -- plea, really-- that Peaches Geldof issued in an interview with Australia's The Advertiser in January. Stop giving your kids strange names.

"I hate ridiculous names," she says. "My weird name has haunted me all my life."

Not everyone with an unusual name would agree.

Montgomery -- whose full name was Poppy Petal Emma Elizabeth Deveraux Donahue -- has mixed memories of living with her moniker.

"You sort of pay your dues, because growing up with it is awful. You get teased, and you're sort of not the norm," says the actress, who took her mom's maiden name professionally. "But then when you're an adult, it's kind of cool. You love it. You like that your name is different and unusual."

What's in a name?

Montgomery says she would "absolutely" recommend calling a child something different. "Look, I think, at the end of the day, it's just a name and people change them and people keep them. ... If I had a kid, I would probably pick an unusual name, 'cause that's my taste."

Of course, if you're a high-profile celebrity baby, it probably helps if everyone's on the same page about the meaning of your name.

Little Suri Cruise is not so lucky in this regard.

According to her parents' publicist, the name means "princess" in Hebrew and "red rose" in Persian. But online gossip maven Perez Hilton has speculated that "Suri" actually has an underlying meaning, derived from Surrey, England, the region where the late L. Ron Hubbard's home (now the U.K. headquarters of Scientology) is located.

The Los Angeles Times, meanwhile, pointed out that Suri means "pickpocket" in Japanese. And Narter's research revealed yet another possible interpretation.

"Apparently, Suri doesn't mean princess, it means 'Go away,' " he says.

Destined as she is for a life eluding the paparazzi, Suri may be aptly named.

Match-the-Baby-Names game

The current crop of celebrity baby names make Moon Unit, Dweezil and Chastity seem downright ordinary. Test your knowledge of stars and their offspring:


1. Roman
2. Audio Science
3. Makena lei
4. Coco
5. Whizdom
6. Cash
7. Phinnaeus
8. Pilot Inspektor
9. Karma
10. Indiana August
11. Hazel
12. Apple


A. Jason Lee
B. Race car driver Kenny Brack
C. Julia Roberts
D. Slash
E. Casey Affleck; Summer Phoenix
F. Shannyn Sossamon
G. Courteney Cox-Arquette
H. Julia Roberts
I. Helen Hunt
J. Ex-NBA star Jayson Williams
K. Gwyneth Paltrow
L. Debra Messing; Cate Blanchett

Answers to the Quiz are in the Comments!
How many did you get right?

Source: North Jersey Media Group. Thanks!

Friday, September 08, 2006

Paris Hilton a GLOBETROTTER Names Fan

Paris place-names her babies

Deciding on a name for your baby can sometimes prove a bit of a challenge, especially if you haven't yet conceived, as celebrity socialite Paris Hilton reveals.

The 25-year old declared this week that she wants to be a mum and she's thinking location, location, location when it comes to baby names.

"I want a large family but I haven't found the guy. I wanna name them London and Paris and I was thinking China," she said.

"But I already know a couple of Chinas so I don't want that one now."

Paris would not be the first in the high profile world of celebrity to name her baby after a place. David and Victoria Beckham famously named their first child Brooklyn after the area in New York where he was conceived.

Thanks to, the UK's leading online parenting community!

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Jon Voight's Naming Mishap

At the fourth annual BAFTA Tea Party (the Oscars for Brits), Jon Voight decided to send birthday wishes to Maddox, daughter Angelina Jolie's five-year-old son. That went well, but then Voight also sent well-wishes to "Shakira" -- referring to Angelina's 1 1/2-year-old daughter Zahara.

Click here to see the video.