Bad Baby Names!

Welcome to BAD BABY NAMES! All BAD BABY NAMES are actual, verified names from newspapers & online webnurseries from the US & Canada. So enjoy & be glad your parents didn't name you one of these doozies! Remember: all babies are beautiful gifts from God, all created equal...all baby names, however, are NOT.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Celebrity Bad Baby Names: Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes' Baby Arrives!

After what seems like a nearly endless gestation....Katie Holmes has given birth to a daughter, Suri. Purportedly, Cruise (one of the country's most famous Scientologists) and Holmes (who was raised Catholic) claim the name is Hebrew.

Which is news to Israelis. You know, the people who actually speak Hebrew.

According to the website TV Shark, the name is causing a bit of a stir in Israel:

"Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' choice of a Hebrew-flavored name for their newborn daughter has speakers of the language scratching their heads. Baby Suri's name can be traced to a Hebrew word meaning "princess" or "noblewoman," but by such a circuitous route that the connection is lost on most Israelis. Since the birth Tuesday in Los Angeles, bemused Israeli TV and radio presenters have debated the word's origins. "Nobody here has ever really heard of it," an announcer on Israel's Army Radio said during a discussion Thursday. The Yediot Ahronot newspaper agreed in its half-page splash on the celebrity birth. "We seem to have learned a new Hebrew word and from Tom Cruise, no less," said a Channel 2 TV anchorman."

Endless speculation as to the actual origins of Baby Suri's name can be found on the website Tom Cruise is Nuts, where the contributors have found everything from an alpaca breed known as Suri, to a theory concerning the name of L. Ron Hubbard's pet cockatoo.

Whether the name comes from the furry, the feathered or the Chosen People...Baby Suri is destined to garner a lot of press. And by a strange twist of irony...Brooke Shields also gave birth to a daughter on the exact same day. No news yet as to the name of Shields' newest little girl (daughter Rowan is almost three), but if it's bad, controversial or as in the case of Suri, just plain confusing....we'll keep you posted!

Fan Mail! #26

Zen Angel,

I don't know how to verify this as real, although I can tell you the baby was born in Gainesville Florida and she is about 9 weeks old.
Her name is.......Luvleigh Berlin xxxxx.
All I can do is shake my head.
I think it's perfect for your website!



Dear Cyndy,

You're is perfect for my site! Or should I say, it's just luvleigh!

Thanks for reading!

---Zen Angel

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

BAD BABY NAMES 35: Even John Mellencamp Wanted to Change This Name...



Kaden Scharen
Here's a perfect example of people who DIDN'T follow that age-old rule: if it rhymes, save it for another time.

Dejavon Astley
Am I the only one picturing 80's crooner Rick Astley singing, "Don't you know I would move Heaven and Earth to be Dejavon Astley with you!"

Oriah Skye
Sister, perhaps, to Uriah Heap?
(thanks to Zusia)

Oh, dear. Someone liked Leslie Neilson in "Airplane!" just a tad bit too much.

The only known offspring of the dreaded Jabberwocky.

Y'all know it wouldn't be a BBN list without this here REDNECK HALL OF SHAME name! Boy howdy!

A blantant case of APOSTROPHE ABUSE and CRE8IVE SPELLLING combining their evil powers together to create an unholy BAD BABY NAME alliance.

I've heard of parents compromising when they can't decide on a name, but usually, one of the names in question becomes a MIDDLE name. As in, seperate from the first name.

Won't you Charleston with me?



This kid is either going to be a biker, a demolition expert, a female impersonator or someone who spends their "down time" at Star Trek conventions. You just know it.


Sorry...but I've got to question the Wisdom of this.



This brings to mind a good rule of thumb: don't take naming advice from John Mellencamp's agent.

Feel free to leave comments....