Bad Baby Names!

Welcome to BAD BABY NAMES! All BAD BABY NAMES are actual, verified names from newspapers & online webnurseries from the US & Canada. So enjoy & be glad your parents didn't name you one of these doozies! Remember: all babies are beautiful gifts from God, all created equal...all baby names, however, are NOT.

Monday, February 28, 2005

At Long Last: THE WORST BAD BABY NAMES OF 2004 POLL RESULTS!

Yes, here they are: the worst of the worst, in six categories as well as the first, second and third places for worst BAD BABY NAME of the year!


Just a note: the results posted here were voted on by BBN readers on Mister Poll (view the poll here). To qualify, the names had to be actual, verified baby names from the year 2004 as taken from newspapers and webnurseries throughout the US and Canada and posted on BAD BABY NAMES. Please read the disclaimer for more information.


Now, on to the results!



CATEGORY ONE: CELEBRITY BAD BABY NAMES!


Those in the spotlight and on the red carpet are not impervious to BAD BABY NAMES..in fact, some seem to revel in the practice. There were many awful choices, but here are our winners!


THIRD PLACE: We have tie! Apple (Gwyneth Paltrow) & Makena'lei (Helen Hunt) (9%)

SECOND PLACE: Wilf (Hermione Norris) (12%)



AND THE WORST CELEBRITY BAD BABY NAME OF 2004, WITH 23% OF THE VOTE, IS...


Whizdom (Jayson Williams)


Not a very "whize" choice there, Jayson.



CATEGORY TWO: CRE8IVE SPELLINGS!


There are parents all over the country who love nothing more than to take a perfectly good baby name...and completely ruin it by misspelling it in every imaginable way. To those parents...this award's for you!


THIRD PLACE: Daykon Mykall Jaycub (10%)

SECOND PLACE: Ccamryn (11%)


AND THE WINNER OF THE WORST CRE8IVE SPELLING OF 2004, WITH 14% OF THE VOTE, IS...


Qchristopher


I hope they think qtwice before doing this qagain.



CATEGORY THREE: APOSTROPHE ABUSE!


E'ver notice t'hat name's now'a'day'z are lit'rd wi'th un'nec'ssry apostrophes?


THIRD PLACE: Tied with 5% of the vote: K'le, Ramse's, Da'nyelle & K'iv

SECOND PLACE: Another tie! R'Son & I'jaaz (6%)


AND THE WINNER OF WORST APOSTROPHE ABUSE OF 2004, WITH 9% OF THE VOTE, IS....


Say'Yonce


Say'It isn't so.



CATEGORY FOUR: REDNECK HALL OF SHAME!


Woo-ee! If yer young'uns are named sumof dese names...you might be a redneck!


THIRD PLACE: Jerleecia (12%)

SECOND PLACE: Erneshia (13%)


AND THE WINNER OF THE REDNECK HALL OF SHAME AWARD FOR 2004 IS...


Waynelle (18%)


Destined to inspire jug bands everywhere...Waynelle.



CATEGORY FIVE: PSEUDO-ROYALTY


Not everyone was born with blue blood...some just have names as if they were.


THIRD PLACE: Sultan David (12%)

SECOND PLACE: Pharoah Nicolas (13%)



AND THE WINNER OF THE WORST PSEUDO-ROYALTY CROWN, WITH 16% OF THE VOTE, IS...


Princess Ty Awna Louise


All hail the Princess.



CATEGORY SIX: MOUTHFUL NAMES!


These are names that defy pronounciation. YIKES!


THIRD PLACE: Quawntavious (10%)

SECOND PLACE: Ogheneawore Jesse (22%)



AND THE TONGUE-TWISTER OF 2004, WITH 25% OF THE VOTE, IS...


Jay'Leiah Twy-emirah-n'Ava


Holy syllables, Batman!




Now it's time to award the worst of the worst, the bottom of the barrel, the three most awful BAD BABY NAMES of 2004!



In THIRD PLACE:


Heaven-Lee Angel



In SECOND PLACE:


Gaggery



AND HERE IT IS: THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN! THE WORST BAD BABY NAME OF 2004 IS.....



Symphony Evanessance


Evidently, this name was not music to your ears!




And there you have it, folks: proof positive that 2004 was a spectacular year for horrendous names! I hope you enjoyed the poll...and that you'll come back next year to vote for the worst names of 2005!



I'd like to thank the following people:


Celebrity Baby Blog, for providing the names for Worst Celebrity Bad Baby Name. It's a great blog, folks: be sure to check it out.

DramaQueen, for giving me bad name after bad name. You're an asset to this blog. A million thanks!

To Mister Poll, for making it easy to set up the poll and for the help towards the blog's mention in the Tampa Tribune article.

To Karla Jackson at the Tampa Tribune, for the great article and great publicity.

And finally, to my son Phoenix, for his tireless help searching the Web for a bevy of bad names.




Until next time...keep sending those BAD BABY NAMES in!









Monday, February 21, 2005

Just an FYI

I am still working on the poll results...and hope to have them up on the blog in the next few days. Thanks for your patience!

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES 21: Can I Get an Amen?

BAD BABY NAMES 21


THE RUNNERS-UP:


Karch
I don't even know where to begin with this one.

Lyne
I'd tell you I love this name...but I don't want to feed you a lyne.

Kevelin-Kahonkiaks Alexina
There are MOUTHFUL names...and then there's this name. A MOUTHFUL Supreme!

Elora
Anyone else picturing the baby from the movie "Willow"?

Balin
I love Arthuriana, and I love Arthurian names. But not only do I find Balin to be an unattractive name in and of itself...it's also kind of like naming your kid Abel. It's a stigma most parents want to avoid.

EvaJo
Whoo-wee doggies! Have we got us a REDNECK HALL OF SHAME name today! I tell you what!

Dane
But is he great?

Remington Parker
I can just see the argument these parents had over this name:

"Remington Steele was the greatest show ever!"
"No, it's Parker Lewis Can't Lose!"
"Remington!"
"Parker!"

And voila...a BAD BABY NAME is born.

LeTone
At the sound of LeTone the time will be...time for a legal name change.

Nels
All I can think of when I see this name is the shrieking, grating voice of Mrs. Olsen on "Little House on the Prairie" as she screams for/at her husband. Not a pleasant association.

Antwanette
I think this may be a case of someone who HEARD a name, loved it, but had never actually seen it spelled before....I hope.

Rayyan
Oh, no! It's an ATTACK OF THE Y's! Take cover!

Brinkley
Someday, Baby Brinkley, you too can grow up to marry an ugly pop singer and even star in his videos!

LaKoda
Oh, geez.

Lurali
"EvaJo, have you seen that there Lurali down yonder?"

Van
And his brothers, Pickup and Hatchback.

Ramiyahsuitofi
Say that again? Nope, not any better the second time.

Feonyx
I think this family might need "Hooked on Fonyx."

Jane't
Of all the BAD BABY NAMES blunders, I understand APOSTROPHE ABUSE the least. What does it add to a name? Seriously? Does anyone know?



SECOND RUNNER-UP:


Ambiance
Did they have a baby, or are they marketing a new perfume? You be the judge.



FIRST RUNNER-UP:


Michelangelo
File this under: giving a baby way, way, WAY too much to live up to.



AND THE WINNER OF BAD BABY NAMES 21 IS....



HALLELUJAH
I keep wondering if Mom named baby after the first word she uttered when labor was finally over...HALLELUJAH!




Feel free to comment...

Thursday, February 10, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES 20: Good Gourd!

BAD BABY NAMES 20


THE RUNNERS-UP:


Taelour
And we're off with a CRE8IVE SPELLING right outta the gate!

Andonis
I don't know if this is a CRE8IVE SPELLING gone horribly awry, or just abject stupidity rearing its ugly head on a birth certificate yet again. I'm leaning towards the latter.

Xyairea
"Now, see, we like the name Dyarrea, but for some reason it kept us running to the bathroom! So we picked a letter out of a hat, and voila!"

Di'mond
Can I buy a vowel?

Drevoughn Dondarius Marzell
Yikes. Yikes. And yet again...YIKES.

Farrah
So I guess no matter HOW she styles it, she'll always have "Farrah-hair."

Ja'mya
Will the APOSTROPHE ABUSE never end???

Enya
I know this is a time-honored Irish Gaelic name...but come on. Who doesn't hear elevator music when they see it?

Audrey-Anne
And one more for the REDNECK HALL OF SHAME!

Taly
Come, baby Taly man, Taly me banana!
(in my best Harry Belafonte voice)

Mavric
Now, I've had Maverick on here as a BAD BABY NAME before. Apparently, some genius parent out there thought it was the spelling I took umbrage with. Nay, I say: nay.

Damean
I would make fun of this name, but it would just Damean us all.


SECOND RUNNER-UP:


Rush
For the bad 70's stadium-rock band? Or the corpulent right-wing radio nut? Either way, a bad STAR STRUCK name all around.



FIRST RUNNER-UP:


Syn'Cere Daquan
This is a BAD BABY NAME. And I'm totally Syn'Cere.
(My thanks to NOV03BABY for sending me this one!)


AND THE WINNER OF BAD BABY NAMES 20 IS.....


PUMPKIN
I can't wait to see this family: did they go for all pet names, like Pumpkin, Princess and Darling? Or is it Pumpkin, Dutch Apple and Cherry? Or even worse: Pumpkin, Charles and Jessica?


Let's just hope Pumpkin's an only child.


Feel free to comment.....

Friday, February 04, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES NEWS: Shiny Happy Babies

"I always thought Pepsi would be a great name. You don't have to have a surname if your name is Pepsi. It's not like anybody would ever forget."

---Michael Stipe of R.E.M., when asked what he would name a child in the March 2005 issue of Blender magazine.