BAD BABY NAMES! Fan Mail #9

Dear Zen Angel:



Honestly, since my name IS Buffi, I don't suppose I have room to talk. However, as I have lived with it all my life, I feel I have some authority by which to speak of "Bad Baby Names."

To the point: I have a few names you might appreciate.

I gave a shower for a friend (in Texas) who announced that she was planning to name her baby Peightyn. Yes, that is Peyton, only spelled horribly, horribly wrong. This woman is a teacher, yet gave no consideration to the fact that this child will one day have to learn to spell her name. I considered calling CPS.

My brother was recently dating a girl named "Clystia" She swore it was a "family name." Sounds more like something her mother took antibiotics for prior to her birth.

He also has a friend named "Cessna." Yes, that is where she was conceived.

Finally, another acquaintance named her child "Utiva." (You-TEE-va) She was very proud of this unique name. Child abuse, pure & simple.

--
Buffi




Dear Buffi:

Those are some pretty bad, bad baby names. I just hope poor Cessna never has a weight problem.

Thanks for reading!


---Zen Angel

BAD BABY NAMES! Fan Mail #8

Dear Zen Angel:




I just wanted to say that I love your sight, and to send you a horrible baby name that I read in the Roanoke Rapids Daily Herald in NC : MiZaiah..yuck.




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Dear Anonymous Fan:



Yuck is right! I keep wondering if this baby is named after a messiah or a bottle of corn oil. And is this baby male, or female, I wonder?



Thanks for reading!




----Zen Angel

BAD BABY NAMES 30: Phat Couture

BAD BABY NAMES 30




THE RUNNERS-UP:



Zallarious
Hilarious.

Mirakle
Sometimes, I just have to shake my head at these CR8IVE SPELLINGS. This is one of those times.

Dax
I wonder which number host this is....seventh, or eigth? Damn, I can never remember which number Jadzia was...

Ramiyahsuitofi
Try saying THAT five times fast. I dare ya.

Shelbylyn
Add another to the REDNECK HALL OF SHAME! Wooo-eee!

Honey
Hey, who WOULDN'T want to name thier kid after bee vomit?!?

Lyza
That's Lyza with a "z" not an "s" add a "y"....

Fortunate
Not with this name, she isn't.

Demanuel
Raising kids is hard...makes da moms wish they came with demanuel.

Persephone
She was kidnapped by the devil, forced to become his bride and only allowed to see her mom for half a year. Enough said.

Jmes
This is, by far, one of the worst CR8IVE SPELLINGS...EVER. Damn, Jmes!
("Good Times" reference there)

Fiaava'e
Both MOUTHFUL name and APOSTROPHE ABUSE...this name is far from being a fiaav'rite.





SECOND RUNNER-UP:


Pagan
Can you imagine this kid getting yelled at during recess? "Stop acting like a heathen, Pagan! Oops....sorry about that!" Or even worse, imagine him as an adult, with missionaries coming to his door every day...trying to save the Pagan.




FIRST-RUNNER UP:


Chancellor
This is a new PSEUDO-ROYALTY name for me. And not a good one, I might add.




AND THE WINNER OF BAD BABY NAMES 30 IS.....


PHASION
Thankfully, I doubt this name will EVER be in "phasion."




Feel free to comment.....

BAD BABY NAMES NEWS: It's a bird! It's a plane! No...it's Nic Cage's baby!

Oscar-winning actor Nicolas Cage is a new father.

His wife, Alice Kim Cage, gave birth Monday to a boy, Kal-el Coppola Cage, in New York City, said Cage's Los Angeles-based publicist, Annett Wolf.

Kal-el, as we all know, is the birthname of Clark Kent...otherwise known as Superman.

BAD BABY NAMES! Fan Mail #7

Dear Bad Baby Names:


When I was looking for a name for my third child I read that two
people in 2001 named their child ESPN and Espen (both pronounced
S-Pen) after their much beloved cable station. Yikes!

Amber




Dear Amber:

Yikes is right! I fully expect to hear about babies named TNT, HBO (pronounced "hobo," maybe?) and BET.

Thanks for reading!


---Zen Angel