Bad Baby Names!

Welcome to BAD BABY NAMES! All BAD BABY NAMES are actual, verified names from newspapers & online webnurseries from the US & Canada. So enjoy & be glad your parents didn't name you one of these doozies! Remember: all babies are beautiful gifts from God, all created equal...all baby names, however, are NOT.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES 29: A Sequel to Purple Rain?

BAD BABY NAMES 29




THE RUNNERS-UP:


Kelvinnia
Nothin' like a little REDNECK HALL OF SHAME NAME to get us started!

Shyann
Ugh, what an awful CRE8IVE SPELLING. And what a way to ensure your kid will always be a wallflower!

Loveinna Hennessey-Alizay
Oh, give me strength to find the words to deal with this MOUTHFUL, STATUS SYMBOL name! I can't believe I'm having to remind people of this again...but naming your kids after the alcohol that led to the conception is NOT a good idea. And in this case, neither is announcing to the world that you found love in the alcohol. :::burp:::

Ka'Miyah Ariyan
Two names that are just horrible together. Let's look at the first name: a classic case of APOSTROPHE ABUSE. And the middle? Unless you're dad is a Grand Wizard, having a name that reminds people of white supremicists is probably not the way to go.

Princessa
A twist on the usual PSEUDO-ROYALTY name: not only are they pretending their child is a blue-blood, but a FOREIGN blue-blood! How exotic....not.

Zeaohn
I have no idea how to pronounce this. Is it like the biblical Zion? Or is it zee-on? Or zee-ay-on? The world may never know.

Sheppard
Now, I know that so-called "occupation" names are becoming popular again. In my endless research, I'm seeing lots of little Fishers, Archers and Hunters. But Sheppard? The guy who spends his days avoiding sheep crap? I don't get it.

Tru
Bah, bah bah, oh, ah, I know this much is Tru! This name is bad!
(in my best Spandeau Ballet voice)

Hyacinth
Try as I might, all I can think of when I see this name is the priggish, snobbish Mrs. Bucket from "Keeping Up Appearances."

Forrest
Can you imagine this kid in gym class? "Run, Forrest, run!"




SECOND RUNNER-UP:



Mitt
The logic behind this one escapes me; isn't a mitt a smelly, ugly thing you catch baseballs in?




FIRST RUNNER-UP:



Danquereious
Just when I think I've found the worst MOUTHFUL name out there...another one comes along to prove me wrong. Yikes!





AND THE WINNER OF BAD BABY NAMES 29 IS....





ONYX REIGN
Is it just me, or wasn't the Emerald regime a bit better for the economy?





Feel free to leave comments....

Sunday, July 10, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES FAN MAIL! #2

"Hello,

I came across your site yesterday and then was checking out my local
online paper -- and found some really bad names. Of course, the "baby" in
the article is 2 years old and not a good candidate for the blog, but
could be fanmail.

Anyway the name of the 2 year old is DeTaevious. And his mother's name
appears to be Candiance. The newspaper article is here:

Democrat and Chronicle Article

You can publish this email and just sign me as "Jen". Should be anonymous
enough!


Jen"


*****

Monday, July 04, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES 29: Your, Uh, Majesty?

BAD BABY NAMES 29




THE RUNNERS-UP:

Integrity
You just know this kid is going to be one helluva good liar.

A'majena
Another classic case of APOSTROPHE ABUSE! And I can't help but wonder...is it "ah mah jee nah" or "a maj ee nah" (like "imagine")?

Jicelle
Yee-haw! A REDNECK HALL OF SHAME name!

Tamaralria
Whew! What a MOUTHFUL!

Valenica
Well, it's better than Apple...but aren't we now comparing Apples and (Valencia) oranges?

Hilton
Hasn't Paris tarnished this name for good yet?

Justus
Now, I am no fan of the name Justice...but this CRE8IVE SPELLING is just downright horrid.

Ted'Quarius
Here's a good example of a name that started out ok...but then went horribly, horribly awry.

Wilson
Picket fence covering half of baby's face not included.

Princeton
There is no way this kid's getting into Harvard...

BreOhna
Can someone explain to me what the point of capitalizing that "O" is? Anyone?

DeMarco
Little DeMarco joins big brothers Don and Juan...

Phallyn
Wow. That is just downright CRUEL. This kid is never going to be able to eat a hot dog, sausage or fish stick in peace.






SECOND RUNNER-UP:




Stetson
After the hat, or the cologne? You make the call.





FIRST RUNNER-UP:




Bishop
I suppose it's an improvement over Knight or Pawn.






AND THE WINNER OF BAD BABY NAMES 29 IS...




ROYAL
Now, this PSEUDO-ROYALTY name isn't just bad...it's generic. Is it Royal as in King, Royal as in Duke or Royal as in Emperor? Come on, if you're going to give your kid a title for a name...be specific, people!






Feel free to comment...