Bad Baby Names!

Welcome to BAD BABY NAMES! All BAD BABY NAMES are actual, verified names from newspapers & online webnurseries from the US & Canada. So enjoy & be glad your parents didn't name you one of these doozies! Remember: all babies are beautiful gifts from God, all created equal...all baby names, however, are NOT.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES 29: A Sequel to Purple Rain?

BAD BABY NAMES 29




THE RUNNERS-UP:


Kelvinnia
Nothin' like a little REDNECK HALL OF SHAME NAME to get us started!

Shyann
Ugh, what an awful CRE8IVE SPELLING. And what a way to ensure your kid will always be a wallflower!

Loveinna Hennessey-Alizay
Oh, give me strength to find the words to deal with this MOUTHFUL, STATUS SYMBOL name! I can't believe I'm having to remind people of this again...but naming your kids after the alcohol that led to the conception is NOT a good idea. And in this case, neither is announcing to the world that you found love in the alcohol. :::burp:::

Ka'Miyah Ariyan
Two names that are just horrible together. Let's look at the first name: a classic case of APOSTROPHE ABUSE. And the middle? Unless you're dad is a Grand Wizard, having a name that reminds people of white supremicists is probably not the way to go.

Princessa
A twist on the usual PSEUDO-ROYALTY name: not only are they pretending their child is a blue-blood, but a FOREIGN blue-blood! How exotic....not.

Zeaohn
I have no idea how to pronounce this. Is it like the biblical Zion? Or is it zee-on? Or zee-ay-on? The world may never know.

Sheppard
Now, I know that so-called "occupation" names are becoming popular again. In my endless research, I'm seeing lots of little Fishers, Archers and Hunters. But Sheppard? The guy who spends his days avoiding sheep crap? I don't get it.

Tru
Bah, bah bah, oh, ah, I know this much is Tru! This name is bad!
(in my best Spandeau Ballet voice)

Hyacinth
Try as I might, all I can think of when I see this name is the priggish, snobbish Mrs. Bucket from "Keeping Up Appearances."

Forrest
Can you imagine this kid in gym class? "Run, Forrest, run!"




SECOND RUNNER-UP:



Mitt
The logic behind this one escapes me; isn't a mitt a smelly, ugly thing you catch baseballs in?




FIRST RUNNER-UP:



Danquereious
Just when I think I've found the worst MOUTHFUL name out there...another one comes along to prove me wrong. Yikes!





AND THE WINNER OF BAD BABY NAMES 29 IS....





ONYX REIGN
Is it just me, or wasn't the Emerald regime a bit better for the economy?





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