BAD BABY NAMES 9: Past, Present and...

(Note: this originally appeared on the old BAD BABY NAMES blog.)

BAD BABY NAMES 9


THE RUNNERS-UP:


Treyviontae

No better way to start off BBN 9 than with such a MOUTHFUL!

Daija'na

I keep wondering if this is just a CRE8IVE SPELLING of Diana (with the "j" silent), or if it's day-jah-nah. Either way...blech.

Wyllyam

This is not only a bad, bad CRE8IVE SPELLING, but a great example of why an ATTACK OF THE Y's should be stopped---immediately---by the United Nations as a crime against humanity.

Beautiful

A Christina Aguillera fan, I assume? I guess we should just be grateful she didn't name the baby "Xtina."

Kinga Katalin

Kinga was the little-seen, workaholic husband of Kanga and absent father of Roo....

Norry

Is there any gas in me lorry, Norry?


Diamond

She could be just awful to the boys in her class, but Diamond is a girl's best friend.

Rodeya

I suddenly feel like shopping....

Yaz-Mare

There is just no excuse for this, people. None whatsoever.

Emerald

Whatever happened to Pearl, Opal and Jade? They've been commandered by Diamond, Emerald and Amythest. I guess you can say the STATUS SYMBOL parents are moving up in the gem world.

Montoya

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!

Totiyonna Meoshia LaNiece

She was welcomed home by her brother, Geeohvynnee Jaycuub DaNephew.

Quawntavious Ra'shun De'mone

Oh, no! Not again! Where in America are these people that think DEMON is a good name for a baby?!?!?!??!?!?!?!

Sailor

He's Sailor the baby man, he eats all the milk he can, he's full of anger and emotion, 'cause he hates the ocean, he's Sailor the baby man!

Jaiquarius

Let me guess: when he was born, the moon was in the seventh house....

Timber

He's a lumberjack, and he's ok!

Bentley Neal

Well, at least it's not Chevelle.

Ace

This is the kind of BAD BABY NAME that makes you wonder what, exactly, was in the parent's minds (and why they didn't spend the previous nine months finding a better name). Are they KISS fans? Like to play poker a bit too much? Own a hardware store? What is it?

Kasandraly

This sounds more like a small island off the coast of Greece than a baby name.

Jahzarah

Jah mon, like, we's so happy t'be welcoming home de baby, mon!

Andzelika

I want to scream and claw my eyes out right now. I really, really do.

Dynacty Geneva Stowe

And I thought last entry's Dynasty was bad! At least it was spelled correctly.

Cyndi-Beth

Here's a great one for the REDNECK HALL OF SHAME! I just wonder if her last name is Who.....

Torie

And her brother, Limey.

Zoee

This is, quite possibly, even more annoying than an ATTACK OF THE Y's.

Dy'mere

What a fine lady she was, so polite and Dy'mere.....

Da'nyelle

Oh, come on. You people aren't even trying anymore.



SECOND RUNNER-UP:


Ransom
OK, I got quite a laugh wondering what the baby announcements looked like....did they do the whole ransom note thing? Did they look like the cover of a Sex Pistols album? I need some air.


FIRST RUNNER-UP:


Reeses
We all wondered what happened to the love child of Drew Barrymore and E.T., well, wonder no more.....


AND THE WINNER FOR BAD BABY NAMES 9 IS....


Future
Yes, I know the children are our future. But you're not supposed to take that LITERALLY!


Feel free to leave comments.....