Bad Baby Names!

Welcome to BAD BABY NAMES! All BAD BABY NAMES are actual, verified names from newspapers & online webnurseries from the US & Canada. So enjoy & be glad your parents didn't name you one of these doozies! Remember: all babies are beautiful gifts from God, all created equal...all baby names, however, are NOT.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES 9: Past, Present and...

(Note: this originally appeared on the old BAD BABY NAMES blog.)
BAD BABY NAMES 9


THE RUNNERS-UP:


Treyviontae
No better way to start off BBN 9 than with such a MOUTHFUL!

Daija'na
I keep wondering if this is just a CRE8IVE SPELLING of Diana (with the "j" silent), or if it's day-jah-nah. Either way...blech.

Wyllyam
This is not only a bad, bad CRE8IVE SPELLING, but a great example of why an ATTACK OF THE Y's should be stopped---immediately---by the United Nations as a crime against humanity.

Beautiful
A Christina Aguillera fan, I assume? I guess we should just be grateful she didn't name the baby "Xtina."

Kinga Katalin
Kinga was the little-seen, workaholic husband of Kanga and absent father of Roo....

Norry
Is there any gas in me lorry, Norry?


Diamond
She could be just awful to the boys in her class, but Diamond is a girl's best friend.

Rodeya
I suddenly feel like shopping....

Yaz-Mare
There is just no excuse for this, people. None whatsoever.

Emerald
Whatever happened to Pearl, Opal and Jade? They've been commandered by Diamond, Emerald and Amythest. I guess you can say the STATUS SYMBOL parents are moving up in the gem world.

Montoya
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!

Totiyonna Meoshia LaNiece
She was welcomed home by her brother, Geeohvynnee Jaycuub DaNephew.

Quawntavious Ra'shun De'mone
Oh, no! Not again! Where in America are these people that think DEMON is a good name for a baby?!?!?!??!?!?!?!

Sailor
He's Sailor the baby man, he eats all the milk he can, he's full of anger and emotion, 'cause he hates the ocean, he's Sailor the baby man!

Jaiquarius
Let me guess: when he was born, the moon was in the seventh house....

Timber
He's a lumberjack, and he's ok!

Bentley Neal
Well, at least it's not Chevelle.

Ace
This is the kind of BAD BABY NAME that makes you wonder what, exactly, was in the parent's minds (and why they didn't spend the previous nine months finding a better name). Are they KISS fans? Like to play poker a bit too much? Own a hardware store? What is it?

Kasandraly
This sounds more like a small island off the coast of Greece than a baby name.

Jahzarah
Jah mon, like, we's so happy t'be welcoming home de baby, mon!

Andzelika
I want to scream and claw my eyes out right now. I really, really do.

Dynacty Geneva Stowe
And I thought last entry's Dynasty was bad! At least it was spelled correctly.

Cyndi-Beth
Here's a great one for the REDNECK HALL OF SHAME! I just wonder if her last name is Who.....

Torie
And her brother, Limey.

Zoee
This is, quite possibly, even more annoying than an ATTACK OF THE Y's.

Dy'mere
What a fine lady she was, so polite and Dy'mere.....

Da'nyelle
Oh, come on. You people aren't even trying anymore.



SECOND RUNNER-UP:


Ransom
OK, I got quite a laugh wondering what the baby announcements looked like....did they do the whole ransom note thing? Did they look like the cover of a Sex Pistols album? I need some air.


FIRST RUNNER-UP:


Reeses
We all wondered what happened to the love child of Drew Barrymore and E.T., well, wonder no more.....


AND THE WINNER FOR BAD BABY NAMES 9 IS....


Future
Yes, I know the children are our future. But you're not supposed to take that LITERALLY!


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