BAD BABY NAMES 6: Crawl Like an Egyptian
Come on, now. This is the epitome of laziness. You need VOWELS, people.
I'm at a loss for words here.
This is yet another attempt by parents to combine their seperate names into one unified name for the baby. This can have great results, but usually the result is just awful. Take Wilmary, daughter of Delmary and Wilson. I assume had little Wilmary been a boy, he'd had the name Wilmar (as in Wilmer Valderrama). Not a great name, but not the albatross Wilmary is. I don't know where the Joevy comes from; I'm afraid to ask.
Dillion/Dylan is not a bad name. Dilin is a silly name. There are some CRE8IVE SPELLINGS that just make the parents look hopelessly illiterate; this is one of them.
How many times MUST I say this: Michael Jackson is NOT a good parental role model. His nose is falling off and he sleeps with little boys. Why would you want to follow his BAD BABY NAME trend? This ain't the Moonwalk, people. It's a baby. Hopefully, one that's not nicknamed Blanket.
Some baby names just make you shake your head. Cashbee is a good example. What is a Cashbee? Is it a greedy honeybee? Or the accountant of the hive? Maybe the guy who gives the worker bees their paychecks on Fridays?
You're the only one who can save us, Zorimar!
Quaid William Taylor
No one likes Randy Quiad this much. Or Dennis. Either one.
Another example of taking a nice name and ruining it with unnecessary CRE8IVE SPELLING. What was the point of that here? Did they like the name Christian but were afraid to offend their Jewish in-laws? I don't get it.
In a Murphy's Law kind of way, you just know Clever is going to be the town dullard.....
When I lived in the mountains as a child, there was a park ranger we called Ranger Scott. I'm not sure what a Granger Scott is.
"I am Arthur, King of the Brittons!" "Who are the Brittons?" "Why, that child! He is a Britton!"
Vowels, people. VOWELS.
He is the Alpha and the Omega....no, wait.....
Are people really this desperate for name ideas, that they will name their precious infant after a medium-priced bottled water? What, did they think Evian was too pretentious?
"I love you Truly, Truly dear....."
I don't even know where to start with this one.
And now, added to the list of PSEUDO-ROYALTY NAMES (along with the beforementioned Prince Teofilo).....Empress Camille!
Can you imagine this guy's wedding? "I, I'Ashon, do take this woman....."
She was puzzled as to why everyone thought she was so very boring. Every time anyone called out her name, they yawned.....
I've been noticing lately that the name Xavier is back in style. I approve: it's a nice name. But it isn't just the name that's in style, it's mutilating the name that's all the rage. Anyone remember little Q'Zavier? He's now got a little friend in the strangely-yet-somewhat-phoentically-spelled Exzavier.
I keep imagining the ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese's, and Mom here trying, as we all have, to extricate a toddler from it. In other words: digging for buried Treasure.
I'm assuming they meant Sincere. Well, they certaintly aren't Clever! Truly.
"You make me feel like a Naturelle baby...." Seriously, this doesn't look like a name....it looks like a French feminine hygiene product.
This goes under the category of Bad Baby Names Combos. Grace, in and of itself, is a lovely name (my great-grandmother was named Grace). But Heavenlee Grace is just....ridiculous. It reminds me of a girl I went to school with, Poetry Sayer. I don't know why some people insist that naming your kids as if they were My Little Ponies or Precious Moments figurines is cute. It's not. It's sickening. Like drinking warm maple syrup right out of the jar at I-Hop: nauseatingly sweet. Yuck, yuck, yuck.
AND THE WINNER FOR BAD BABY NAMES 6 IS......
We've seen a lot of PSEUDO-ROYALTY BAD BABY NAMES here: Princess, Prince, Baron, Empress....but Pharaoh Nicolas takes the cake. Or the pyramid, as it were. Crawl like an Egyptian, baby!
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