Bad Baby Names!

Welcome to BAD BABY NAMES! All BAD BABY NAMES are actual, verified names from newspapers & online webnurseries from the US & Canada. So enjoy & be glad your parents didn't name you one of these doozies! Remember: all babies are beautiful gifts from God, all created equal...all baby names, however, are NOT.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES 12: We're All Individuals

(Note: this originally appeared on the old BAD BABY NAMES blog.)
BAD BABY NAMES 12




THE RUNNERS-UP:




Clemmye
Oh, my darlin'....

Alexisa
Look, people: if you like Alexis, USE Alexis. This CRE8IVE nonsense has gone too far....

Marcash
He'd buy the Ferrari, but he needed Marcash.

Justice
...and BAD BABY NAMES for all.

Tezzion
This sounds like a bad German heavy metal band. "Hello, Cleveland! Ve're Tezzion! Are vou ready to rock und roll?"

Lexe
Not many people knew that Lex Luther had a twin sister, because unlike her evil brother, she preferred reading about evil to actually particpating in it....

Oceananna
Her room is so messy, I can't even find the Oceananna floor!

Ma'Kye
Listen closely as we hear the mating call of the elusive BAD BABY NAMES bird in its natural APOSTROPHE ABUSE habitat....

Syntoria
For those who don't think the name Victoria is goth enough.

Loriabelle
Ah, another REDNECK HALL OF SHAME name! Will the madness never end?

Bryyce
Ah! An ATTACK OF THE Y's! Save yourself!

Joimoni
Is this two syllables or three?

Zeik
He's very cheic.

Malaysia
I can almost (note: ALMOST) understand naming a child after a nice city or country. One where the parents perhaps honeymooned, or conceived the child. But Malaysia?

Emalei
Note to expectant mothers: becoming CRE8IVE with a name doesn't mean you've avoided using a super-trendy moniker. It just makes said super-trendy name look ridiculous. Hope that helps.

Lawson
"Why am I being arrested?"
"Because you broke the Lawson!"

Kauhner
This is just awful. Painful, even.

MeriJayn
I think perhaps someone was smoking a bit too much MeriJayn before signing the birth certificate.

Dimind
Dimind is a Dimwit kind of name.

Ariion
Why have only two vowels in a name when you can have three?

ka'More
I'm getting the strange feeling lately that many new moms skipped the class in basic English when one is generally taught that proper names BEGIN with a capital letter.

Day'quandray
What a MOUTHFUL!

Coy
And his sisters, Shy and Bashful.

Ja/shawn
If you thought APOSTROPHE ABUSE was bad, behold the horrors of DASH ABUSE!!!




SECOND RUNNER-UP:




McKendrianna
My thanks to BAD BABY NAMES reader DramaQueen for finding this stinkburger, proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that McDonald's evil plan to take over the world by BABY Mc ATTACK Names is near completion....



FIRST RUNNER-UP:



Ice Key
As opposed to Fire Key or Earth Key?


AND THE WINNER OF BAD BABY NAMES 12 IS.....




Oym'unique
MOUTHFUL and CRE8IVE SPELLING with just a dash of APOSTROPHE ABUSE, this name is our clear winner! Or loser. Depending on how you look at it.



Feel free to comment....

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