Bad Baby Names!

Welcome to BAD BABY NAMES! All BAD BABY NAMES are actual, verified names from newspapers & online webnurseries from the US & Canada. So enjoy & be glad your parents didn't name you one of these doozies! Remember: all babies are beautiful gifts from God, all created equal...all baby names, however, are NOT.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES 10: Cosmic Blunder

(Note: this originally appeared on the old BAD BABY NAMES blog.)


Sometimes naming babies is hit or Mysse.....

Na'Netra Bianca
:::shaking head:::

Like, wow! After that hard workout, I am Tre'Sor!

What the hell is Brazzie?!?!?!?!?

Because Swear could be misconstrued....

Because Harlet could be misconstrued....

This is quite the MOUTHFUL! I can't figure out how to say this name....a lobotomy might help. Maybe.

Next up on Mucha Lucha! Ricochet vs. El'Mega!

Princess Shanasia
Princess seems to be the trendy PSEUDO-ROYALTY name this year. Which is a royal shame.

Forget Brazzie....what the hell is an Astraca? Sounds like a proctology device.

We as a great nation are falling victim to the wanton ATTACK OF THE Y's. And it has struck again, rendering the trendy and rather nice Aidan into this horrifying disaster! Can't anyone help! The children, the children! Will someone think of the children!

At the hoe-down, Bubba's a-gonna play his gee-tar and I'm a-gonna play my Mandy-Lynn....

I'm wondering if this is another MERGER name. Perhaps the parents are Kirby and Shelby?

Talk about giving a kid a complex! At least, he'll always be popular at Halloween....

Nevaeh Jaijai
A message to all expectant mothers: please, for the love of all that is decent and sacred, AVOID THE NAME NEVAEH. It is not cute. It is not witty or clever. It's HORRID. And Jaijai sounds like the name of a toy poodle. This is just a bad, bad name.

Uh, gee, Deorge! When we get to the farm we can have lots and lots of rabbits....

"I betcha Lucky Lindy never flew so high...."

Well, it's better than Paris, which now has that unfortuante Hilton sister connotation.

Nevada Rose
Is it just me, or does this sound like a brothel outside of Vegas?

I've been seeing this one quite often lately, and I don't get the appeal. Is it a STAR STRUCK name (Toni Braxton)? Or is it some sort of OBJECT OF DISAFFECTION name (Braxton-Hicks contractions drove ol' mom nuts)? I don't get it.

Auyumn-Rain, here me roar!

This one has me perplexed. What is attractive about a ridge? All I can think of is mountains or potato chips. Am I missing something?


Sultan David
Just when I thought I had seen all the PSEUDO-ROYALTY names out there, along comes Sultan David. I wonder if he'll someday name a daughter Jasmine....


Priest Soulja
It's not just that Priest is a bad, terrible, truly awful HERO COMPLEX name. And it's not just that Soulja is ridiculous in the extreme. It's when you put them begs you to finish "Priest Soulja soul to the devil, did he?"


A'Risin Starr
OK, we're going to stop laughing at this name. Any minute now. Really, we are. I mean it.
I need some air.

Feel free to leave comments....


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