Bad Baby Names!

Welcome to BAD BABY NAMES! All BAD BABY NAMES are actual, verified names from newspapers & online webnurseries from the US & Canada. So enjoy & be glad your parents didn't name you one of these doozies! Remember: all babies are beautiful gifts from God, all created equal...all baby names, however, are NOT.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES 18: Heartbreak Hotel

***Note: this originally appeared on the old BAD BABY NAMES blog. If you are new to BAD BABY NAMES, please read the Disclaimer & Explanation of Categories before you dive in!



BAD BABY NAMES 18




THE RUNNERS-UP:



Emmagry
I'm not sure where they are trying to go with this. Is it supposed to be like Emma's angry, or like Imagery? The world may never know. Perhaps we're better off that way.

Kierzdyn
Every time I think I've seen every name that can be fouled up with a CRE8IVE SPELLING, I am sadly proven wrong yet again.

Tressel
Beg pardon?

Adonis
Why not just name the kid Gorgeous and be done with it?

MeiAn
This is what it sounds like....when doves cry.

Britlyn
Here's another trend that's rapidly getting on my nerves: cre8ing "new" names by tacking "lyn" or "lynn" onto the end. It's not clever, folks. It's ridiculous. But it keeps my site in business...so by all means, continue. I look forward to Peterlyn and Dorislyn. I've no doubt they're out there somewhere....

Alishba
This is why you should wait until the anasthesia wears off before dictating the birth certificate.

Qwen
No, honey....G is the letter with the tail in the middle, not on the end!

E'ryn
APOSTROPHE ABUSE
and CRE8IVE SPELLING all in one. Blech. Or should I say, B'lych.

Edlawit
I'd make fun of this, but it's not funny. It's just perplexing. Sort of like staring at an albatross.

Renner
I've seen this name a few times lately. Can anyone explain its appeal? Because I'm at a loss, personally.

Angelina Jolie
There's being STAR STRUCK...and then there's just obsessed. Let's just hope THIS one doesn't have a brother.

Jaazaniah
Was that second "a" necessary? Not that it matters with this MOUTHFUL. I was just wondering.

Eu'nijah Jhunyai Nashae
Speaking of MOUTHFUL names...this one may very well be the queen.

Pryncess Amaya
Ah, another BAD combo: PSEUDO-ROYALTY and CRE8IVE SPELLING. Why? Was naming a human child "Princess" just not silly enough? I don't get it.

Chameron
My question here is: is the "ch" in this name pronounced like "change" or like "chameleon"? Is the "h" part of an elaborate---and ill-advised---CRE8IVE SPELLING, or is it a whole different name from the Scottish stand-by Cameron?

Jett
Joan would be proud.

DillOn
Sous chef! We need more DillOn the chicken!



SECOND RUNNER-UP:



Ahonesty Ny'Kirra Amirr
This is a BAD BABY NAME....Ahonesty BAD BABY NAME.
(sang to the tune of Olivia Newton-John's "I Honestly Love You")




FIRST RUNNER-UP:



Warrior James
Does anyone else recall that 80's song, "The Warrior" by Scandal? The one with the horrid chorus: "Shootin' at the walls of heartache, BANG! BANG! I am the warrior"? Anyone? Well, this name, sadly, is even worse than the song and only slightly less putrid than the video. For shame.




AND THE WINNER OF BAD BABY NAMES 18 IS.....



GRACELAND
Millions love Elvis. He is the King. I get it. But who is so STAR STRUCK that they would ACTUALLY name their baby after the house in which the rock n' roll legend died on his throne after one too many trips to the all-you-can-eat pigs' feet & prescription pills buffet? This is a hunka-hunka-burnin' bad name. Thank you very much.





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