BAD BABY NAMES 16: Call In the Troops!

(Note: this originally appeared on the old BAD BABY NAMES blog.)

BAD BABY NAMES 15



THE RUNNERS-UP:



Cedar

No doubt little Cedar was welcomed home by brothers Oak and Walnut.

Shamyla

Shamyla Lamma Ding Dong!

DaRick

Bring in DaBaby, Call him DaRick!

Reasure

What exactly are they trying to Reasure themselves of? Food for thought.

Nalanie

Now, Melanie is not one of my favorite names, but it's also not a BAD BABY NAME in and of itself. You turn it into the CRE8IVE SPELLING above...and it sounds more like an over-the-counter remedy for sea-sickness than an infant. I wonder if Nalanie is more effective than Dramamine? Enquiring minds want to know.

Mi'Angel

Is it just me, or does this name strike you as a Cockney compliment gone horribly, horribly awry?

Kay Lee Ann

The Feng-Shui method of baby naming: make sure all your names are symmetrical for true harmony.....

Mar'Kieauna

Huh?

Ti-Leigh'yah

Warning: this name contains an serious APOSTROPHE ABUSE! Charges have been filed with the local precinct.

Ty Woine

How, exactly, is "Woine" pronounced? Is it like "wahn," or like "wayne"? The world may never know.

Aarien Coates

And his sister, Ddarlene Jackets.

December

What really tickled me about this name, was that the baby in question was actually born in November.....

Nautia

So, Santa, has baby been Nautia or nice?

Shiloh

I once took a trip to Oklahoma City, and stayed in a Shiloh Inns. I wasn't moved, apparently, as the parents of this child was. Pehraps they got more than two tiny little soaps?

Maclane

But what was he named in his former lives?

Klowi

YIKES, is this a BAD CRE8IVE SPELLING! I mean, some CRE8IVE SPELLINGS just look as if the parents were trying a wee bit too hard to be different. And others, like Klowi here, just look as if the parent actually hated the name and was trying everything in his or her power to utterly destroy it for anyone else who might ever think to use it. In this case, I believe they might have succeeded. Jerks.

Zima

Zippy Zowie!

Sunshine

Sunshine is probably the most shining (love that pun) example of a TIME WARP name ever. After all, wasn't that the name of the naked baby rolling about in the mud in the "Woodstock" movie?

Scotlynn

They had to choose between this and Irelynn.

Quamell

I keep picturing a cartoon character, maybe an evil genius on Dexter's Laboratory? No, that's Mandark.

Alexyss

This is one bad CRE8IVE SPELLING.

Kennison

OK, here's a STAR STRUCK name I haven't seen before! Oh, oh, OOOOOHHHHH!

Stormy

It was a dark and Stormy birth...

Lennon

Imagine there are no BAD BABY NAMES, it's easy if you try....

Ja'genevia

I wonder if BAD BABY NAMES are covered under the Ja'genevia Conventions....



SECOND RUNNER-UP:



D'aSiyahna R'yaire

WOW.



FIRST RUNNER-UP:


King Rickey

And his wife, Queen Patsey!



AND THE WINNER OF BAD BABY NAMES 16 IS.....


KALVARY

So much better than Infantri, don't you think?



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