Bad Baby Names!

Welcome to BAD BABY NAMES! All BAD BABY NAMES are actual, verified names from newspapers & online webnurseries from the US & Canada. So enjoy & be glad your parents didn't name you one of these doozies! Remember: all babies are beautiful gifts from God, all created equal...all baby names, however, are NOT.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES 16: Call In the Troops!

(Note: this originally appeared on the old BAD BABY NAMES blog.)
BAD BABY NAMES 15



THE RUNNERS-UP:



Cedar
No doubt little Cedar was welcomed home by brothers Oak and Walnut.

Shamyla
Shamyla Lamma Ding Dong!

DaRick
Bring in DaBaby, Call him DaRick!

Reasure
What exactly are they trying to Reasure themselves of? Food for thought.

Nalanie
Now, Melanie is not one of my favorite names, but it's also not a BAD BABY NAME in and of itself. You turn it into the CRE8IVE SPELLING above...and it sounds more like an over-the-counter remedy for sea-sickness than an infant. I wonder if Nalanie is more effective than Dramamine? Enquiring minds want to know.

Mi'Angel
Is it just me, or does this name strike you as a Cockney compliment gone horribly, horribly awry?

Kay Lee Ann
The Feng-Shui method of baby naming: make sure all your names are symmetrical for true harmony.....

Mar'Kieauna
Huh?

Ti-Leigh'yah
Warning: this name contains an serious APOSTROPHE ABUSE! Charges have been filed with the local precinct.

Ty Woine
How, exactly, is "Woine" pronounced? Is it like "wahn," or like "wayne"? The world may never know.

Aarien Coates
And his sister, Ddarlene Jackets.

December
What really tickled me about this name, was that the baby in question was actually born in November.....

Nautia
So, Santa, has baby been Nautia or nice?

Shiloh
I once took a trip to Oklahoma City, and stayed in a Shiloh Inns. I wasn't moved, apparently, as the parents of this child was. Pehraps they got more than two tiny little soaps?

Maclane
But what was he named in his former lives?

Klowi
YIKES, is this a BAD CRE8IVE SPELLING! I mean, some CRE8IVE SPELLINGS just look as if the parents were trying a wee bit too hard to be different. And others, like Klowi here, just look as if the parent actually hated the name and was trying everything in his or her power to utterly destroy it for anyone else who might ever think to use it. In this case, I believe they might have succeeded. Jerks.

Zima
Zippy Zowie!

Sunshine
Sunshine is probably the most shining (love that pun) example of a TIME WARP name ever. After all, wasn't that the name of the naked baby rolling about in the mud in the "Woodstock" movie?

Scotlynn
They had to choose between this and Irelynn.

Quamell
I keep picturing a cartoon character, maybe an evil genius on Dexter's Laboratory? No, that's Mandark.

Alexyss
This is one bad CRE8IVE SPELLING.

Kennison
OK, here's a STAR STRUCK name I haven't seen before! Oh, oh, OOOOOHHHHH!

Stormy
It was a dark and Stormy birth...

Lennon
Imagine there are no BAD BABY NAMES, it's easy if you try....

Ja'genevia
I wonder if BAD BABY NAMES are covered under the Ja'genevia Conventions....



SECOND RUNNER-UP:



D'aSiyahna R'yaire
WOW.



FIRST RUNNER-UP:


King Rickey
And his wife, Queen Patsey!



AND THE WINNER OF BAD BABY NAMES 16 IS.....


KALVARY
So much better than Infantri, don't you think?



Feel free to comment....

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