Bad Baby Names!

Welcome to BAD BABY NAMES! All BAD BABY NAMES are actual, verified names from newspapers & online webnurseries from the US & Canada. So enjoy & be glad your parents didn't name you one of these doozies! Remember: all babies are beautiful gifts from God, all created equal...all baby names, however, are NOT.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

BAD BABY NAMES #39: Let's Get Ready to Rumble!

BAD BABY NAMES #39



THE RUNNERS-UP:


Jollie
You know, every holiday season, some wiseacre is gonna sing, "Have a holly Jollie Christmas!" in her vicinity. You just know it.

Harsh
Wow...that IS Harsh.

Jacob-Thai
Hi, Jacob-Thai. I'm Zen Angel-Native American. Nicetameetcha.

Godiva
From the chocolates, or the naked horseback rider? You be the judge.

Le'land
I'm not sure what the parents were hoping to accomplish with this bit of APOSTROPHE ABUSE...but you really can't improve on a name like Leland. You really can't.

Nafia
A naming tip: if it rhymes with "mafia," probably not a good name to give a baby.

Kreekor
It's been awhile since we've seen a SCI-FI SYNDROME name on this blog. I guess the nerds just aren't procreating as much as they used to. I blame broadband.

Kylie Juniper
I can't help it; every time I see this middle name, I want to yell, "My juniper bushes! Those are my juniper bushes!" (Monty Python reference there)

Trinitie
There are bad CRE8IVE SPELLINGS...and then there's this name.

Rex
Look, people: if it's something you'd name your dog, DON'T USE IT FOR YOUR KID! And yes, this includes Fido and Muffy.



SECOND RUNNER-UP:


Zi'onnala'nelle

Just when I thought I'd seen the worst, the most tongue-twisting and heinous example of a MOUTHFUL/APOSTROPHE ABUSE combo name ever, someone comes along and steals the prize.



FIRST RUNNER-UP:


Ya'Majesty Zaiina

Another handy tip: don't take naming advice from Jermaine Jackson, the man who gave us JerMajesty. Changing the "J" to an "Y" and adding a little APOSTROPHE ABUSE does NOT make it an acceptable name. It makes it even worse...which, before now, I thought was impossible.



AND THE WINNER OF BAD BABY NAMES 39 IS....


Riot J. Thrasher

Oh...my...goodness. What can I say about this name, except: ZOINKS!



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