Article: Children Caught Between Celebrities

From The Wave magazine's article "Children Caught Between Celebrities" by Seanbaby:


"There is one thing that sets Britney and her aspiring rapper apart from other bad celebrity parents: they didn’t give their kids moon names. Sean Preston and Jayden James are extraordinarily normal. Most times, you can’t trust famous people near a birth certificate. Rachel Griffiths gave birth to a Banjo. Jason Lee has one named Pilot Inspektor. Magician Penn Jillette named his daughter Moxie Crimefighter, apparently hoping she’ll someday grow into a Hanna-Barbera cartoon. Gwyneth Paltrow has a gentler level of name insanity as she chose to call her children Apple and Moses. These sound cute until you realize that for the rest of their life, any point they ever make can be refuted by saying, “Nice name, Apple.” And then, “Face!”

Do celebrities think they’re too special to give their offspring human names? Psychologists think yes, they all might as well have named their children Narcissistic Attention Grab. However, it could come from a level of absurdity that only they can understand. For instance, during his film career, Nicolas Cage has answered to Smokey, Dr. Stanley Goodspeed, Hi, and Ghost Rider. To him, it’s perfectly reasonable for a baby to have the same name as Superman. There are probably D-List actors we don’t hear about that name their children far worse."



Source: thewavemag.com