Bad Baby Names!

Welcome to BAD BABY NAMES! All BAD BABY NAMES are actual, verified names from newspapers & online webnurseries from the US & Canada. So enjoy & be glad your parents didn't name you one of these doozies! Remember: all babies are beautiful gifts from God, all created equal...all baby names, however, are NOT.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES! Fan Mail #14

Dear Zen Angel:

I post on DISI sometimes, and just had to read your bad baby names and contribute :)

My daughter has a friend named Tozanee. I know how to pronounce it. Give it a shot!


Sincerely,
Tak (strictly a pseudonym!)



Dear Tak:


Always nice to see a fellow DISI gal! And that is a tongue-twister! YIKES!


Thanks for reading!


---Zen Angel

Note: DISI is a message board which yours truly calls a second home.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES 32: The Opposite of City Rainfall?

BAD BABY NAMES 32




THE RUNNERS-UP:




Julio Caesar
Julius' younger brother, a former member of Menudo, set out to win the world with music!


Jalynn Jo
Another for the REDNECK HALL OF SHAME! "Jalynn Jo, don't poke at that there dead racoon in the road! Yer not 'posed to play with yer food!"


JaKeil'a Ta-Shay
There's so much wrong with this name, I'm getting vertigo just looking at it. I need to sit down.


Angel Gabriel
And his brother, Archangel Michael.


Ma'Kyah Nastasia
Not only is the first name suffering from an acute case of APOSTROPHE ABUSE, the middle name actually tries to make the word "nasty" look cute. Oy vey.


Markeiyah Autiyunnah
What a MOUTHFUL!


Arrow
No, don't tell me...his brother's name is Bo, right?


N'finique
The reasons not to use this name are just n'finite.


Estephanie
Where's the "dot com"?


Tri-An
Is it just me, or does this sound like an allergy shot? "He's been stung by a bee! Quick! Ten cc's of Tri-An, STAT!"


Malibu
Oh, please, please, PLEASE tell me her middle name is not Barbie.





SECOND RUNNER-UP:



Lazer
Oh, goodie. The vertigo's back.




FIRST RUNNER-UP:



Diamond Allure
When I first began this blog, the STATUS SYMBOL names were few and far between, but lately...they're all over the place....each one tackier than the last.




AND THE WINNER OF BAD BABY NAMES 32 IS.....




WILDERNESS SUNSHINE LYNN-NICOLE

So much better than their first choice, City Rainfall Jennifer-Leigh, dontcha think?
(Thanks to Zusia for this one!)






Feel free to comment....

Thursday, November 24, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES! Fan Mail #13

Dear Zen Angel:



I have yet another name for ya. Actually, it’s a set of names and this one comes courtesy of my husband. He’s the one who came across it.



In Gymboree stores, they have pictures up of kids in their clothing. My husband was horrified when he noticed a picture of twin girls. While the kids were cute, their names were written under the picture. They were Hope and Faith.



You just can’t make this stuff up.



-Hyphen




Dear Hyphen:


If there is one thing I've learned from having this blog...it's that no, you CAN'T make this stuff up! Truth is far stranger than fiction.


Thanks for being one of BBN's biggest fans!


---Zen Angel

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES! Fan Mail #12

Dear Zen Angel:


I stumbled across your blog concerning bad baby names and thought I'd let you know about the two worst I have seen so far. Working in a law office, I come across many names that make me want to smack parents, but two so far will always be unforgetable. I present to you:

Michael Angelos (I really wanted to ask his mother if she thought he would grow up to be an artist instead of a crack dealer, but thought maybe that might be inappropriate.)

And the winner of all time bad names (in my experience anyway):

Donita Beaver. (And if you can't figure out what is so wrong about that name, try saying it out loud a few times. If you really want to know what's so bad about it, say it out loud in front of a group of teenage boys.)

Anyway, the bad baby names thing you have just cracks me up. Keep 'em coming.

--Amy Jo





Dear Amy Jo:


Those are two BAD BABY NAMES! I'm still laughing over ol' Donita.


Thanks for submitting them!



---Zen Angel

BAD BABY NAMES! Fan Mail #11

Dear Zen Angel:


I found this on someone’s sig line:


Phallon Reighn Elise



If that’s pronounced the way I think it is, the kid is Fallen Rain Elise. Ouch!



---Drama Queen



Dear Drama Queen:



OUCH! is right! It sounds like a documentary or a tropical storm. Thanks for reading!


---Zen Angel

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES 31: I'm Henry the 8th, I'am...

BAD BABY NAMES 31




THE RUNNERS-UP:




Rayanna Ranee
I can't decide if this one belongs in the REDNECK HALL OF SHAME, or is it a CRE8IVE SPELLING? Maybe, a little of both?

Sirrenitie Jenette
Now THIS is a bad CR8IVE SPELLING.

Koden Walker
Is it just me, or does this name sound like a MAGIC: THE GATHERING card? "I play the Koden Walker against your Giant Sloth!"

A'Myreana
Both APOSTROPHE ABUSE and MOUTHFUL NAME, all at the same time. Parents are getting ambitious with their BAD BABY NAMES!

Stemarion
I can't decide if this reminds me of cigarettes or cowboy hats.

Jakeriyonna
If anyone knows how to pronounce this, drop me a comment, will ya? Don't just leave me in the dark...

Aqaveryon
The new fragrance for men that breaks ALL the grammar rules: Aqaveryon. Only for "u."

Zeeba
I get the distinct feeling the parents of this child must have met at a Mel Torme concert...

Jimmy Don
Jimmy Dean's younger brother, Jimmy Don, turned away from the family sausage business and instead, joined the mafia...

Con'tur
Ah, a SCI-FI SYNDROME name! It's been awhile since we've seen one of these. The geeks just aren't procreating like they used to...I blame chat rooms.

Marchealah Monee'Machelle
One part MOUTHFUL, one part APOSTROPHE ABUSE and one part CR8IVE SPELLING equals...one BAD BABY NAME!





SECOND RUNNER-UP:




Hopr
I think they were hopr'd up on something when they came up with this one...





FIRST RUNNER-UP:




Magic
Look, if you're into Harry Potter, why not go for, I don't know...HARRY?






AND THE WINNER OF BAD BABY NAMES 31 IS....




I'am
Can you imagine this kid trying to introduce himself to girls? "Hi, Beth. I'm I'am...no, I don't stutter...I'm I'am. Seriously! I am! I'am! Oh, forget it!"






Feel free to comment....

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

BAD BABY NAMES! Fan Mail #10

Dear Zen Angel:


A family friend has 3 daughters Larisha Victoria Rose, Jzardenay Jzonquil and Bethanni Leeann. I think that is like the worst name I've ever heard of. LOL




Dear Anonymous BAD BABY NAMES FAN:


Jzardenay Jzonquil definately qualifies as a serious MOUTHFUL name!


Thanks for reading!


---Zen Angel